They always say the simplest time in your life is your childhood. As a young girl, the smallest things made me happy. I mean, I’m still not that hard to impress, just ask anyone I know, but I think in your childhood, because your life was much more carefree, you enjoyed every moment of life, rather than worry about daily things.
Just think about the things that made your day when you were little. For me, it was things like waving at a train on top of the footbridge near home and feeling like a boss when they beeped their horn and waved back, or the rare occasion when I got chips for dinner instead of rice (#asianchildproblems!) or when you see yourself on the TV because your family were so obsessed with creating home videos — 90s/00s child ey? That was seriously some high tech we had back in the days!!
Nowadays, life has got more and more complicated. It probably starts when you’re about 14, where you’re at that stage go picking your GCSEs. This is the first step to your future. This is where you begin to think what you want to do in your life. Next, it’s choosing your A Levels, which is obviously holds more importance than the previous chapter in your life. Here you’ll find your options begin to narrow down, you start to filter out certain career paths. Choosing the type of career path you want to go down at 16 is a hell of a lot of pressure, I mean, at 22, I know people who still have no idea what they want to do, and this is even after completing a degree.
The next milestone in your life is then university. Whilst university is perceived to be this place of fun, mayhem and a ton of drinking, you actually have to choose a single subject which you’re supposed to be somewhat passion about… or just have enough passion to survive the next three years.
After university, you would think your life would become a bit more stress free. However, I found the complete opposite. I spend all my time worrying. I worried about finding a job for the longest time, and even when I landed a job, there was still more worry. I worry about whether I’ve chosen the right role for me, I worry if I’m doing my job correctly, I worry about how I am perceived at work — am I too quiet? Am I doing enough work? Am I going to enough socials? Am I going to too many socials?
And the worrying doesn’t stop there. Beyond work, I worry about being an adult. I worry about earning enough money to move out. I worry about whether I’ll have enough money for rent, food, essentials but also enough to accommodate my lifestyle. I worry about the time I spend with people. Am I spending enough time with my family? Am I seeing my friends enough?
I further worry about boys and finding ‘the one.’ There are people my age starting to get into serious relationships, getting married, having babies and whatnot. I still think I’m like 18 so things like that scare, worry and freak me out. But will it happen to me? When should I really start searching? When should I stop messing around and start.. you know, settling down? (As you can tell I’m nowhere near ready for that yet!)
My outlet for this stress is writing. When I’m writing, I drift off into this other world. Whether it’s a post for my blog or a piece for a company, writing for me is stress free. It’s something I enjoy and something I know I am good at. Of course there are some circumstances where I think, Am I going to offend anyone with this piece? Have I double, triple checked it enough? But writing is something which I have faith and confidence in myself in.
That’s how I now know I really want to do something creative. Whether it’s pure writing, content creation, copywriting, editor.. anything to do with words and storytelling would be the dream. I am lucky enough to be both creative and analytical but I’ve learnt very quickly that I’d rather be creative than analytical. Between my childhood and now, the whole process of working out what I want to do points in the direction of editorial, writing and content creation. And I didn’t realise until I steered off that path and tried something else.
We worry so much about the future that we forget to live in the present. I somehow, although I am unsure exactly how, want to return to this state of being carefree. I mean, call me naïve, but I’m going to try and figure out a way lol. I want to live this life where we are not so consumed with our smartphones that we forget to look up and see what is around us. I want to live this life where I’m surrounded by the people I love, and hear their contagious laughter rather than their moans or their cries (– because I want them to be happy, not because I’m a bad friend who doesn’t want to listen to their problems lol!). I want to live this life where I’m so content in all aspects, from work to family, friendships to relationship that I wake up every morning without a worry.
The inspiration to this post has come because I’ve been obsessed with The Struts’ album. I am the type of person that when I’m obsessed with an album, I will listen to it on loop for weeks — which for the past two weeks I have been. There’s a song called “Could’ve Been Me” on there and lyrics which really resonated with me. In the second verse, they sing, “Don’t wanna wake up on a Monday morning/ The thought of work’s getting my skin crawling.” I’ve always said that I never want to wake up on a Monday morning dreading the day, the week of work ahead. Nothing makes me sadder than pursuing a career which doesn’t fulfil your happiness. It may pay the bills — heck, it may even pay better — but is the money worth more than your happiness?
I think the people who never get the Sunday night feeling/Morning morning blues are the luckiest people in the world because it means they have found exactly what they want to do in life. Now that I really, really know the career path I want to go down, I hope that upon landing my dream job, I never have a Monday Morning where I feel like I’m dreading it.
I feel like this is a sort of epiphany/midlife crisis (at 22 lol) but I’m going to take a step back and look at my life from the outside in. I really feel that this is the time in my life where I can be selfish. I can choose whatever job I want, try and test a few things because it’s so early on in my career. If it doesn’t work, learn from it and move on. There’s no point sticking in a job when it doesn’t make you happy, when it’s not ‘you’. As I said, when I left university, I had no clue what I wanted to do so I’m bound to make a few mistakes. It’s a time in my life where I can really test the dating pool and find the traits I want in a future partner. After all, you need to kiss a few frogs before finding your prince, ey? I can really take time to understand who I am and exactly what makes me happy. And anything that doesn’t fit the bill will be removed.
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