Keeping Your Guard Up.

One thing I find extremely difficult is letting my guard down. It’s so scary to allow yourself to be so vulnerable.

I think in the past, I have let my guard down but been let down/disappointment/hurt and I guess this has resulted in my behaviour today. I know you shouldn’t be held back by your past, but once you’ve been hurt before, you’re always going to be more reluctant to ever put yourself in that situation again, right?

Since the term fuckboy was created and put in our vocabulary, I think we laugh and joke about how disloyal, not only men, but us as humans can be. I think it almost makes us ‘just accept it’… if you get what I mean? We laugh about ‘smashing and dashing’. We put ourselves into situations where we know we are going to get hurt and blame ourselves for ‘getting involved with a fuckboy’.

The term fuckboy masks our fears. Every trait we define in a fuckboy are the traits we don’t want in a partner. But because we label them a fuckboy, we deem it as okay. We wouldn’t accept the behaviour from a boyfriend/girlfriend, a partner, etc. yet because we label them fuckboys, we allow them to treat us, well quite frankly, shit.

‘Dating’ a fuckboy means you gotta remind yourself not to fall for them. Which to me, is so silly because I think that if you spend a significant amount of time talking to them or spending time with them, unless you have a heart of stone, it’s quite hard not to feel something. I was told by this boy ‘Don’t fall in love with me, Jess’ which I’ve never forgotten. I was never and have never been the most PDA person in the world but I think that phrase has caused me to raise my guard so high that I keep everyone at a distance so that no one is close enough to hurt me – be that platonically or romantically. So even if I’m dating someone, I’ll never tell them how I feel because I don’t allow myself to even think about it myself. Because it’s horrible to fall for someone who doesn’t feel the same back.

The pros? Keeping your guard up allows you to protect yourself and your heart. It prevents you from crying over silly little boys.

However, I think that cons outweigh the pros. By keeping your guard up, you don’t really experience any feelings. They say that love is the greatest feeling in the entire world, but if you keep yourself shut off, you’ll never get to experience that. Also, you’ll push people away. There are many good people in the world and you’ll never meet them if you’re frosty with everyone.

It’s one of those tricky situation. On the one hand, you don’t want to ever intentionally hurt yourself. But at the same time, sometimes these heartbreaks, these broken friendships or whatever the case may be, makes you grow as a stronger. How can you learn from your mistakes if you never make any? How can you find out what you like and don’t like if you don’t explore? How will you ever distinguish the good people from the bad people if you never meet any?

Whilst it’s important to have a guard up, I think maybe we should all enter things with the mentality of ‘glass half full.’ Allow yourself to open up in order to get to know not only the person, but to find out what you like, but not too much that you’re literally an open target.

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