Unless you’re extremely lucky or have a really incredible sixth sense, I think most people experience a toxic relationship once in their lives. I’m not talking about just the romantic type of relationship, I’m speaking about all types of relationships with the many people you interact with on a daily basis.
Toxic relationship doesn’t only mean physical abuse, in most cases, it’s more the mental and the emotional state. To me, it’s when a toxic relationship no longer makes you happy, or adds anything to your life. It’s when you find yourself no longer acting or feeling like yourself around them.
As human beings, our ego craves instant gratification. It’s all about the present moment and how we feel right at that moment. We crave attention. We love to be loved. Loneliness is something that everyone fears because at the end of the day, of course, nobody wants to be alone. That’s why you hold onto these unhealthy, and quite frankly useless relationships.
But for those who are in toxic relationships, you never feel fully complete anyways, in fact, you probably feel even more alone. It’s like being in a crowded room and still feeling alone. I know the thought of being alone is scary, but isn’t it better to be alone, feel that weight being lifted of your shoulder and having the chance to start again than hold onto a burden and a cycle of unhappiness? The more you continue to lock yourself in this space, the harder it is to escape.
When you cleanse your life, in whatever shape or form, whether it’s relationship or diet or whatever, you are making room for bigger and better things.
I was tired of talking to these boys where it was realistically never going to go anywhere, where it was definitely a case of ‘one rule for them, another rule for me.’
I was tired of the friendships where is was a one-way relationship. Where it was either their way or the high way. Where things only happened if and when it suited them. When they called you with a problem but when you had a problem they were nowhere to be seen.
Sometimes you have to take a step back and look out for yourself and your happiness. Doing something because you care about them or to be helpful is way different than doing something because you fear you’ll lose them, because you almost need that validation. That isn’t healthy.
You need to ask yourself, is this relationship making me genuinely happy? Are they supportive of me as I am them? Do they have my best interest at heart? Are they helping me become a better person?
Once you let go of these toxic relationships, you’ll instantly feel much better. And it will show – in your body language, your face, your attitude. People pick up on positive energy and they’ll finally get to see you for who you are, the real you. You’ll be able to make new friends, a new partner in no time.
It’s hard to end a relationship, it’s hard to step back and say, ‘No, I don’t want this anymore.’ Even if you have the intention, it’s very easy to be drawn back into this cycle. A photograph, a memory, a simple text can instantly reel you back in. But I think, by letting go of anything toxic, you’re not only make your life better, but in the long run, you’ll be doing them a favour. Because you’re creating a space in their life where they can find a suitable match for them.
Think of it as ripping a plaster or a wax strip. The more you think about it, the worst it’s gonna get. The quicker you get it over and done with, the quicker you can move on. The pain of it (be it the plaster, the wax strip or the end of a relationship) only last a short while in comparison to the heavy weight and pain you’ll carry with you if you don’t do something about it. If you avoid the situation and never speak up and put yourself first.
It’s time to take a leap of faith.
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