Why It’s Sometimes Okay To Be Jealous?

This weekend, I went to see Mamma Mia: The Musical in the West End. As a huge, huge, huge musical geek, this is one of my favourite things to do. This post comes inspired by a particular song in the musical… well, not even song, a couple of lines. The lines? “I wasn’t jealous before we met. Now every man (the real lyrics of the ABBA, not music version is women fyi) that I see is a potential threat.”

Jealousy is known to be one of the seven deadly sins. We’ve been taught and it’s been drone into us that we shouldn’t be jealous of someone else. But let’s be honest, it’s a natural feeling that cannot be helped. No matter how much you try.

The only time when I think jealousy is not okay, is when, like with anything, it’s taken over the top. Where it causes you to get extremely angry, or worse, violent. Or where you physically and mentally become obsessed with the situation/person/thing etc.

According to the good ol’ trusty Wikipedia, ‘Jealousy is an emotion, and the word typically refers to the thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, concern, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of status or something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection.’ And I do think that this is an accurate definition of jealousy. And it’s the type of jealousy that’s okay, to an extent.

The reason as to why I think jealousy is okay is because, for me anyways, it indicates what I’m feeling, whether I know it or, in most cases, don’t want to admit it. It’s that sort of eureka moment, or when the penny drops. It causes you to realise certain things. As the definition states, it’s the anxious lost of ‘something of great personal value.’ You only get jealous over things that have significant meaning to you. I do think this is true. I am quite a jealous person but I’d only get jealous if I like you. Which I guess, if you think about it, is kinda of a compliment. I’m definitely not the forward type at all and I’m so reluctant to tell anyone I like them ever, to the point where even if I’m dating you, I probably still won’t fully tell you how much I like you. So if I’m jealous, that’s a pretty good indication, even if I deny it lol.

For instance, for the longest time I have kept telling myself I do not like this boy at all. But this weekend, whilst I was in the theatre, he posted a pic of him and this girl at the beach on Snapchat causing my initial reaction to be like “oh shit, who is she?” My friends, and I’m sure your friends would do that exact same, tried to reassure me saying, “How do you know that isn’t just his friend?” And of course, it very may well be, but I can’t help but feel slightly jealous. I guess that means I do actually quite like this boy now, right? *eyerolls*

In many ways, I think jealousy can also be a sort of ‘kick yourself up the backside’ sign. (I don’t even know if that’s the correct saying lol.) It sort of pushes you to improve on yourself or the situation. In a relationship, it is healthy in the sense that it is a friendly little reminder telling you not to take your other half for granted.

Jealousy is one of those things I guess that can make or break you. You just gotta know the balance between healthy and unhealthy jealousy. And when it does begin to become more weighted on the unhealthy side, that’s when you gotta speak up.

X

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