Flirting is not my forte. AT. ALL.
I could relay countless of stories to you, demonstrating my sad inability to flirt. Let me give you a few of my personal fave examples. I wish I could go into a lot of detail but there’s a chance they might come across their blog and I don’t think they’d be too happy with me sharing these stories haha.
There was this one guy who I had so much in common with. We liked pretty much the same sort of thing. He asked me out during exam period. Now, if you know me, you’ll know I am a wreck during exam period. I freak out, I panic more than others, I have a meltdown on a daily basis so having fun and going out is never on my radar. He suggested ‘Spoons, which I genuinely like despite it’s bad reputation, and you know what my reply was, “I think I’ll be free in about 4-6 weeks after exams.” I mean, who says that?! I’m so embarrassing.
Another little anecdote is when I was talking to this guy over WhatsApp… You know, those “late night convos”, and he said to me, ‘I really want you right now, Jess.’ So any sane person would perhaps go with the flow, carry on flirting, but no, not me. What did I say? “Oh cool lol goodnight mate.” MATE. I know how to accidentally friend zone people don’t I?!
Similarly, this boy was trying to tell me, I guess how he felt, and I think that was trying to be all cute, talking in riddles and whatnot. I got fed up, and perhaps rudely said, “I don’t get it, you’re confusing me. You’re such an annoying friend.” I don’t know why I love calling people Mate or Friend when they’re blatantly not just my “friend.” Bad habit I guess.
Even the other night, I was FaceTiming with a guy, and we were talking and laughing. And he goes to me, “You’re so cute when you laugh.” Now of course me being me, I did not play it cool at all. Those who know me know I do not take compliments well. I started doing that embarrassed laugh, which turned into a real laugh and then somehow I managed to choke on my own spit. He then goes, “Maybe not so cute now.” I couldn’t have made a bigger fool out of myself if I tried.
As you can see, I’m terrible at flirting. I have no idea how I’ve ever managed to get boyfriends because I honestly never know if someone likes me. To me, everyone is just being nice and friendly to me because no one could ever possibly like me. I can’t really distinguish between friendliness and flirting. Sometimes, when I’m trying to be a good friend, it comes across as flirting, and vice versa. Then this leads to problems because people think you’re leading them on. However, I don’t think that’s my problem. My problem seems to be my inability to tell someone I like them, as shown through my stories. If I was define what flirting was, the definition comes up as “behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions.” This is not me. My brain seems to tell myself to do the complete opposite. Almost like, “Friendzone them as much as you possibly can Jess!”
So if you could give me some tips, that would be totally helpful!
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