There’s no doubt about it. Us girls are interesting and complex creatures. In a world where there’s still a lack of equality between girls and boys, and also in a world where the term ‘fuckboys’ exists, it seems beyond crazy to me that girls are tearing each other down, when the phallocentric world we live in already does that to us. Shouldn’t us girls be standing up for one another?! I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed that girls seem to be jealous of one another more so than men. Of course this is an observation and a sweeping generalisation, I’m sure there are men who are equally as bitchy as women, but I feel that women bitch way too much.
The whole notion of women being pitted against each other is not new. I guess it’s become an almost ‘joke’ where people laugh it off – “This is just how girls are.” Is it really in our DNA to compete with each other? Women are known for competing in pretty much every aspect of their lives, from friends to jobs, men to where you go on holiday, to even the small detail such as what sort of food you buy at the grocery store – Gluten Free? Organic? It makes you think, who exactly are you living your life for – yourself, or to please others? We make fun of this behaviour, and we acknowledge it, but we never sit down and question ourselves as to how it came to this point? How did we get so bad?
First and foremost, the top of the agenda is beauty. Throughout society, we have the media analysing, deconstructing and criticising the way women look and dress, whether you’re in TV and Film, Music or even politics. For women, it’s not about the work you produce, but it seem that your looks are more important. There’s hardly a section in the tabloids or the gossip magazine which compare the outfits of men, you know, those “Who wore it better?” sections. Yet week-in, week-out, women are constantly put in competition with one another.
The double standards trend continues when men pose for topless pics in their boxers, as women lust all over that image and write a comment with the emoji with the love heart for eyes – you know the one I’m talking about?. Yet when roles are reversed, and perhaps a woman is advertising lingerie or a bikini line, in her comments, there will be hundreds of messages calling her slutty to telling her to “put some clothes on.” What’s shocking is that these comments are usually from other women too. In my opinion, women should be supporting on another and being like “Slayyyyyy Girl” but as you were probably told growing up, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Women complain about double standards all the time, but isn’t having this difference in attitude between the body of men and women only contributing to this double standard-ness? Is there really a difference between the two? Why are men allowed to appear all sexy and get endless praise for it, but when women do it, it’s inappropriate? In my opinion, male or female, if you got it, flaunt it! Haha no, but seriously, I think that women need to stop shaming other women. It’s important and almost inspiring to see a woman so confident in her own body. Whilst I’m not saying that you need to take off your clothes to feel empowered or important, I feel that we, as a sisterhood, need to be spurring one another on, to dress however we wish, as long we are comfortable in our skin.
Even outside of the glitz and glamour, in real life, women’s beauty seems to be at the forefront of any conversation. I am the type of person that waits until my nail polish is practically all chipped off before I do anything about it, mainly because I’m so super lazy and I forget to take them off all the time. I have had people comment on my nails saying it looks scruffy, or they hate it when their nails do that and they’ll never be caught dead with chipped nails. If I was going to an important meeting, then I obviously would do something about it. But on a day-to-day bases, to me, there are more important things to worry about than if someone has chipped nails. I’m normally aware that I have chipped nails, it’s always the case that I’ll leave the house and then realise in traffic that I forgot to remove it. I don’t really need you to tell me that my nails are chipped, and I don’t really need your sassy little comments about them either. Furthermore, when I’m sitting on the tube, I overhear conversations from other girls talking about other girls. They’ll bitch about the shoes someone was wearing that day, or how this girl was wearing cake-y makeup, or how her friend was wearing a very, very deep V cut top (there was a heavy emphasis on the word very!). I was told growing up that if I feel confident in my outfit or my make up then the opinions of others really doesn’t matter. Why does it matter how someone else dresses? Is there an underlying sense of jealously underneath it all? Of course, we don’t have to all like the same thing, and I get that everyone has their own opinions. This is a free-speech world after all and you’re entitled to your opinion. But, if we all had the same taste and all dressed the same then the world would be pretty damn boring. What doesn’t work for you, might work for someone else and if they’re confident, then good for them. You do you boo!
The world is a difficult enough place without the need to compete in almost every aspect of your lives. A good tip? Everyone loves a compliment so if you’re out in the street and you see someone wearing a really nice top or shoes or whatever, ask her where she got it from. I guarantee you’ll make her day! My friend does that almost every time we are out shopping and the smile on the other person’s face is really nice. I just think that the world would be a nicer place if everyone, not just women, were nicer to each other, don’t you?
If you have an extra five minutes spare, please take a look at my articles for Bright Shiny News ➵ http://www.brightshinynews.com/author/jessicalam