Have you ever felt like giving up? That your dreams, your life goals are slowing fading, and instead, you’ll have to settle for an ‘ordinary’ life? You know, being a Stepfords wife with two kids, having a 9-5 job, living in your country cottage with your white picket fence.
This is my current situation. Don’t get me wrong, if that sounds like your idea of heaven and what makes you happy, then great, go for it! But that’s just not me. I was inspired to write this post by my best friend who Whatsapped me at a ridiculously early hour telling me how she ‘hates her life’. To an extent, I totally get where she is coming from. I am tired of the habitual routine of university; where I am restricted in a small confine space in this big wide world.
Often I find myself wondering what would have happened, had I followed my heart, my dreams, my passion rather than my head and thus following the social norms. Yes, following my head is the wiser, the safer option, but if my heart could make me happy, then why not? The idea of failure and the fear itself is enough to tie anyone down to places, to objects, to people, and as a result, we take the road most travelled on and live in a bubble world filled with white picket boundaries. We constrain ourselves to an ‘ordinary’ life. But I don’t want that, I want an extraordinary life.
I’ve always been a dreamer. Flashback to 7 year old me, where I would hog the microphone on the karaoke machine, just so I could be the star belting out those classic 90s hits. Or to my 16/17 year old self, where my dream was to attend Oxford University (lol, good one Jess!). Today, I’m 19, and I learnt that unfortunately not every dream can come true. But there are a couple of dreams that stick with you no matter what, shouting ‘Pick me!’ and it is those dreams worth pursing. For me, the dream that keeps floating back on top is music – I wish and hope to get a career in the music industry, to work with some of the biggest names in the industry. I know that I am nowhere near where I want to be, but to be honest, I still don’t really know ‘where’ is.
There are times when I think about giving up, to be ‘ordinary’, to forget about that inner dreamer inside of me and just embrace normality. Who doesn’t like the idea of security and being comfortable? Who doesn’t want a life without failure? It all seems easier, but I don’t want easy – I want extraordinary.
If I were to write a book at the end of my life, I would want it to be a great book. No, screw that – I would want it to be a bloody fantastic book! In this hypothetical book, it would be filled with vibrant colours and real, raw emotions (if any publishers happen to stumble across this blog, my manuscript for this book is ready to go!) It would tell the tales of adventures and risks; some ending in triumph, others ending in defeat. It would prove that when things got tough, I was able to pick myself up and say ‘Keep going Jess!’
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to feel as if I’m stuck in a rut. I don’t want to be that person who says, ‘I really wish I pursued that when I was younger.’ I don’t want to regret missing out on opportunities, on missed dreams. If I were to give up everything right now in order to live ordinarily, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I want the pages of my book to be interesting – to be filled with life, and love and dreams, as well as heartbreaks and mistakes. I want to feel challenged and be able to overcome these challenges. I no longer want to be restricted, and instead, feel successful in living my dreams, making my dreams a reality – an extraordinary reality.